


am-i-i-am

by femmefatal



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: F/F, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Prose Poem, Recovery, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-03
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-11-08 18:43:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17986589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femmefatal/pseuds/femmefatal





	am-i-i-am

I kick my feet off the ground and watch the little cloud of muddy dust get smaller as I swing up, then come swooping back down again. My hair blows out of my face and the cold wind makes my eyes water. My hands grip the chain like a vice, turning my knuckles white and making my scars stand out ivory against my straining tendons. I dip my foot down and skid to a halt.

I sit for a moment, then turn and look at her. She's swaying very slightly on her swing, just enough to make her flyaways blow about a little. She doesn't acknowledge that I've stopped swinging, but she looks right at me and I can see that her eyes are smiling. I turn and look straight ahead.

I think. I think that I shouldn't be here, that life told me loud and clear when my time came, and that I clung on to the shelf past my due date. I think that I'm not normal, that little children aren't supposed to be the way I was, that maybe I'm not human at all. Maybe I'm the Messiah, or an alien, or a fae child, or a freak accident. I think about how cold the metal is on my hand, how strongly I can feel it. I think about how smooth and silky my skin is, how milky my arms are. I think about my hair blowing out of my face and the cold wind that makes my eyes water.

I turn and kiss her. I am going to be okay.


End file.
